Sunday 2 September 2007

The Joker

http://www.adoniscabaret.co.uk/about-adonis-male-strippers.html
As I stated earlier I have been in the entertainment business now for 16yrs. This isn't just stripping but many, many TV appearances, modelling assignments, extensive theatre tours, both UK and worldwide, many of which were a spin off from stripping. 'Seen it, done it and got the T-shirt!' is a statement I should be saying, but it's more like expect the unexpected!No audience is the same, you can have 'great', 'okay', 'strange', 'quiet', 'loud' and 'fucking horrible'. No venue is the same, theatre, pub, social club, aunt Ethels living room! Your routine will change ever so slightly with each show and that is why this job is the best in the world, forever changing and new each time.Yes I can teach you the skills of entertaining but as "for getting out the poo with quick thinking", that I'm afraid is a learning curve you must endure on your own!A small tale that I shall tell you to prove this point! -"Please welcome on stage The Joker"!!!! On stage I go in a theatre full of a thousand screaming women. Show going great and if you have ever set foot on a live stage you will know that , sitting in the audience you can see every detail....... Every testicle unshaven, every facial "fuck just stubbed my toe", and even religion if caught right. The sound levels are deafening to the point of vibration. But.....On stage you can't see a bloody thing!.... the audience and even marks set on stage. The sound is only fed to you via monitors and the only real people you can make out are normally your colleagues standing in the wings, helping you along by mooning! That's Tristar. Pulling silly faces - Sparkle, even letting you know that they have stolen the props that you will need shortly, Tristar again!OK when you go out into to the audience you do normally get house lights but after 2 minutes in flood lights, your eyes just don't catch up. It was at this point that I grabbed a young ladies hand and took her onto the stage. I had her join in a silly part of my routine, asked her name, lets say - Mary - and thanked her with a round of applause from the audience and led her to stage right steps. So there I am carrying on with my routine and Mary is still standing there. I shout "thanks Mary you can go now" and carried on with show. Yet again I look over and Mary is now sat on the top step of the stage? I mime to the crowd "shes mad" at exactly the same time that her friend came and got her. Well, if looks could kill!?Finished the show and came off stage to seven grown up men, laying on the floor, over chairs, & each other! Every one of the fuckers crying with laughter. I know that I'm funny but this was over the top. This is the point that I was told that "Mad Mary" - a title that I was soon to regret giving her- who I had taken on stage, in front of a thousand ladies, made dance around like a loon, mimed that she was mad, was actually blind!! Dig a hole and bury me quick! To make things even worse, at the photo signing at the end of the show I spotted Mary.... wasn't too hard, as her dog gave it away, went to apologise and oh fucking yes, gave her a free poster, what the hell was I thinking!!?These kind of stories are there in their millions and yes, you learn from each one. I learnt never get a girl to join you on stage if to get to her, you stepped over a dog and moved that white cane!These are lessons you cannot be taught, you just have to go with the flow, but never ever stop smiling..

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