I was thinking about the time I was booked in for a private show at a house which turned out to be a swingers party.I had finished my show, which was most bizarre as most of the people were naked and not giving a shit about some silly arse on the stage. I say 'stage' but it was a just a small space in front of the sofa.This was the first and only swingers night that I'd been to and I had heard so much about all these gorgeous women. I you used the term that 'beauty is skin deep', in this case most of the people at this party were inside out! I was then asked if I could be auctioned and the highest bidder would get a private show. Being the prat I am, I agreed and the bidding started at £40 which was quite please with. Once it got to £100 I noticed that the bidders were mostly men??!! Mind you looking at it now the women did have their hands full plus other bits! The closing bid was for £195 which as a young stripper was great. As I only intended to do one show I only had my normal comedy set outfit which was fat Elvis and I thoughtto myself ' I cant do that for a private show!!' Luckily I bumped into a gimp in the hallway who was more than happy to lend me his leathers for the returned favour of locking him in a wardrobe and gagging him???? Strange but true! I had to do strip for, lets say, a lady who insisted on calling "me bad boy", and telling me "I'm safe, got the coil fitted". To be honest with the size of her she could of had a carpet fitted! I told her to act her age, and she died! As soon as I was naked, I was out the door, giggling my arse off towards my car! This is where the story gets good. As I opened my car door, and I'm not lyinghere, what could be a could be super model said "hello"!! In shock I asked "what are you doing here" and she replied "I came here with my friend but hate it so I'm sitting outside". We started talking and getting on really well and yep one thing lead to another and in seconds we were naked and going for it. I got myself into a position that was hard to get out of, yes I was SO FLEXIBLE IN THOSE DAYS, when a fat man walked out from behind a bush. He then said that she was his wife so I got ready for a smack in the mouth when he reached out and shook my hand??? This is the point that I realised that his other hand was busy and then was introduced to his friends, who all appeared from the foliage all sporting one hand. I had been set up for a sex show!!!! I ran to my car and sped off in terror but to date, I still see my night-time lover. I can't identify her as her fat naked husband is, lets say, very high up in the constabulary...
No comments:
Post a Comment